Willow Life Coaching and Counseling
Trauma-Informed Services Available Worldwide
Toxic Relationship Quiz
Non-Medical Coaching and Christian counseling via phone or video chat
Is My Relationship Toxic?
Take the Toxic Relationship Quiz
Unhealthy relationships can be difficult to recognize, especially when moments of care or connection are mixed with patterns of criticism, manipulation, or emotional instability. Over time, these dynamics can create confusion, stress, and a growing sense that something is not right. This quiz is designed to help you reflect on some of the common signs of a toxic relationship.
DISCLAIMER:
It’s important to remember this quiz is intended for awareness and educational purposes only. It is not a medical diagnosis, official result, or healthcare recommendation. To discuss a medical situation or diagnosis, please see a medical professional.
DIRECTIONS:
Please read each statement carefully, then select the answer that shows how frequently you experience it in the relationship. To evaluate a past relationship, choose the answer that shows how often it occurred in the past.
RESULTS CAN TAKE A SECOND TO LOAD
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
They….
- Act resentful when you are hurt or sick
- Don’t respect your need for space and privacy
- Make it very difficult to live your own life and have your own thoughts and goals
- Don’t really listen to you or take an interest in your feelings
- Insist on being right
- Make conversations always come back around to them
- Don’t give as much effort to the relationship as you do
- Need attention all the time and want your life to completely revolve around them and their needs, and if doesn’t, they get angry or pout
- Frequently make you feel unimportant by constantly being late, changing plans, not responding to your attempts to reach them, or not keeping promises
- Claim to know what you are thinking or what is best for you
- Give back-handed compliments and smug remarks
- Have to “one-up” you or give insults disguised as compliments
- Minimize accomplishments by comparing them to their own
- Cause you to lose your self-respect for your own time and your needs
- Ignores you unless they want something from you
- Send guilt messages ( “If you loved me…” “If you really were a caring person…”)
- Shame you
- Tell you that you are crazy, confused, a liar, or have a poor memory
- Tell you messages like you’re too sensitive or dramatic and just need to get over it
- Project their own bad behavior onto you
- Lack of genuine empathy
- Blame you for nearly everything bad that happens
- Change how they relate to you when other people are around
- Pit people against each other
- Triangulate
- Confide in other people about you as a way to make other people think badly of you
- Gaslight when it comes to sex
- Give you the silent treatment
- Make you beg and plead for them to talk to you or care about you
- Believe the rules don’t apply to them
- Try to get even for a perceived wrong against them
- Conveniently forget on purpose
- Fake empathy to manipulate
- React intensely to criticism
- Suck the life out of you
- Call you a narcissist or tell you that you are always making it all about you
- Cause a breakdown in your own self-respect for your time and your needs
- Are hot and then cold, or nice and then nasty
- Express silent or passive-aggressive anger
- Are generous and altruistic only to manipulate people’s perceptions that they are a good, caring person, but they never do those things for you if someone isn’t watching
- Constantly make you feel on-edge around them
- Give gifts that you don’t want or attach strings to them
- Frequently give threats or dramatic ultimatums
- Give praise and compliments only when they are trying to manipulate you
- Forget about your requests on purpose
- Rage when something good happens to you or for you
- Want you to focus so much on them that over time you have lost yourself
- Constantly have a condescending and patronizing undertone (Example: using your name excessively. “OK! Rebekah! I heard you the first time, Rebekah. You know, Rebekah…”)
- Initiate conversations and situations that constantly make you feel confused or crazy
- Consistently give less to the relationship than you do
- Demonstrate they don’t actually want to get to know you
- Create many situations where they end up the victim
- Are incredibly likable in new relationships, but end up with all sorts of misunderstandings and failed relationships
Do You Need Specialized Support to Help You Heal?
I work with adults navigating narcissistic abuse, spiritual abuse, and complex relational trauma. These dynamics often leave people silenced, confused, or caught in patterns that are difficult to untangle. Whether the harm unfolded within a relationship, family system, or a group context, I provide a steady, trauma-informed space where truth can be named without pressure, defensiveness, or shame. Together, we clarify what is happening, begin to unwind the layers, and build a thoughtful path toward real restoration.
For those who desire a Christ-centered approach, Christian counseling is integrated carefully and trauma-informed, with attention to the harm you have experienced.
About Me
I’m Bonnie Ronstrom, a certified life coach, victim’s advocate, and pastoral counselor. I specialize in walking with those harmed by toxicity, narcissism, and spiritual abuse as they move toward healing.