How do I know if I need a coach, counselor, or therapist? 

We are all on a journey called “life.” Sometimes we know where we want to go, but we get distracted, stuck in a rut, confused about which direction to go, lose our motivation, or unclear about how to navigate an obstacle. Non-clinical services can be a good fit for these situations. 

However, sometimes we become disabled by a mental illness that is so severe we decompensate and cannot function or move forward at all. A licensed medical provider is needed in this situation. 

Suppose you are experiencing significant emotional, mental, or physical distress to the point where you cannot function well in your day-to-day life. If your symptoms are causing you concern, or you need someone else to be responsible for your care and safety, you should see a licensed medical or mental health care provider. Because your security and stability are critically important, you must never rely on a coach, consultant, mentor, counselor, etc., who is not a licensed medical provider, for any medical (including mental health) needs. 

When thinking about which will better suit your own needs, it may help to think of it this way. If a client mentions to a coach they have a headache, you wouldn’t expect the coach to know the client needs to seek immediate medical care because it could be a sign of a severe reaction to a new prescription the client is taking. Some coaches and counselors don’t have the license to practice medicine or the responsibility for a client’s medical care. If the coach/counselor insisted that the client went to the emergency room immediately for a simple headache, the client would rightfully view this as the coach overstepping their role and taking charge of the client’s life and medical decisions. 

It’s the same with mental illness. A client may have symptoms that could be part of a mental illness. A coach/counselor may or may not notice them. However, it is not a coach’s role to determine if they are severe enough to be a mental disorder and need medical care. Clients and their licensed medical providers are responsible for all medical and mental health care needs. Mental health care providers can directly intervene in a patient’s life to ensure their safety and stability. Non-medical coaches/counselors never provide this direct level of care. They work with clients who can be in the driver’s seat of their own lives and take responsibility for their own decisions and actions. 

In short, if you are deciding between working with a recovery professional or a mental health provider, ask yourself about your current distress level. Do you need someone else to be responsible for your stability and progress? A licensed provider can supply this level of care. Are you able to be in the driver’s seat of your life and take responsibility for your functioning? A non-medical professional can work with a client in this situation.

I’ve heard non-medical recovery professionals use terms like “narcissistic,” “trauma,” “depression,” or “C-PTSD.” I’m confused why they use these terms when they don’t diagnose or treat mental illness.

Many terms have both a non-clinical and clinical use. When words are used in a non-clinical way, they should not be mistaken for a diagnosis of mental illness.  

For example, “depression” is a mental illness, a symptom of some mental disease, and means “sad .” There is a big difference between “I’m so depressed that it’s raining, so I can’t go to the beach” and “I’m so depressed that I can’t get out of bed.”  

Another example is the term “narcissistic.” Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental illness. However, to say someone is “narcissistic” is not diagnosing them but describing patterns of behaving and relating.