Willow Life Coaching and Counseling
Trauma-Informed Services Available Worldwide
Narcissistic Mother Quiz
Non-Medical Coaching and Christian counseling via phone or video chat
Have I Experienced Narcissistic Abuse from My Mother?
Take the Narcissistic Mother Quiz
The impacts of having a narcissistic mother can be immense. One of the first steps toward freedom and relief is recognizing what is actually happening. Once those patterns become clearer, you can begin choosing resources that support your path toward freedom, growing confidence, and healing from the pain, confusion, and sense of being trapped that often come with having a narcissistic mother.
To begin exploring whether narcissistic patterns may be present, take the “Is My Mother a Narcissist?” quiz below.
DISCLAIMER:
It’s important to remember this quiz is intended for awareness and educational purposes only. It is not a medical diagnosis, official result, or healthcare recommendation. To discuss a medical situation or diagnosis, please see a medical professional.
0–30
Based on your answers, your mother does not appear to show strong patterns of narcissistic behavior.
31–60
Your answers suggest that your mother may show several narcissistic traits, and these patterns may be affecting you.
61–120
Your answers suggest that your mother may display many narcissistic traits, and these dynamics may be having a significant impact on your life.
If you are unsure about this result, or it doesn’t seem right to you, I encourage you to check out the signs of a narcissistic mother below. This is another useful way to evaluate your situation. Please contact me if you would like to discuss your results. I’d be happy to give you information about the scoring or explain how your result was reached.
Characteristics of Narcissistic Parents and Caregivers
They…
- Frequently ignore you unless they want something from you
- Doesn’t respect your need for space and privacy
- Try to “get even” for perceived wrongs against them
- Change how they relate to you when other people are around
- Make it very difficult to live your own life and have your own thoughts and goals
- Frequently use guilt messages ( “If you loved me…” “If you really were a caring person…”)
- Shame you to get you to do what they want
- Make love or provision of your needs dependent on your doing what they want
- Take the credit for your accomplishments
- Are obsessively involved in your life
- Compete with you
- Constantly lie to you
- Don’t really listen to you or take an interest in your feelings
- Tell you that you are crazy, confused, a liar, or have a poor memory
- Give compliments that are really put-downs
- Put you in a parental role
- Have a favorite child
- React intensely to criticism
- Project their own bad behavior onto you
- Lack of genuine empathy
- Fake empathy to manipulate
- Insist on being right
- Are incredibly likable in new relationships, but end up with all sorts of misunderstandings and failed relationships
- You give more to the relationship than they do
- Need attention all the time
- Make holidays and birthdays miserable
- Give gifts you don’t want or they attach strings to them
- Are resentful when you are hurt or sick
- Silently or passive-aggressively express rage
- Conveniently forget on purpose
- Pit people against each other
- Triangulate
- Confide in other people about you as a way to make other people think badly of you
- Suck the life out of you
- Initiate conversations and situations that make you feel crazy
- Make conversations always come back around to them
- End up the victim, no matter what
- Rage when something good happens to you or for you
- Inadequately protected you from harmful people, situations, or things
Do You Need Specialized Support to Help You Heal?
I work with adults navigating narcissistic abuse, spiritual abuse, and complex relational trauma. These dynamics often leave people silenced, confused, or caught in patterns that are difficult to untangle. Whether the harm unfolded within a relationship, family system, or a group context, I provide a steady, trauma-informed space where truth can be named without pressure, defensiveness, or shame. Together, we clarify what is happening, begin to unwind the layers, and build a thoughtful path toward real restoration.
For those who desire a Christ-centered approach, Christian counseling is integrated carefully and trauma-informed, with attention to the harm you have experienced.
About Me
I’m Bonnie Ronstrom, a certified life coach, victim’s advocate, and pastoral counselor. I specialize in walking with those harmed by toxicity, narcissism, and spiritual abuse as they move toward healing.