Spiritual Abuse Quiz
Is My Pastor or Leader Spiritually Abusive?

Control and Manipulation

• You feel obligated to obey the leader without question

• Your personal decisions are micromanaged or criticized

• You are pressured to conform rather than guided in wisdom

• Disagreement is labeled as rebellion or a lack of submission

• Guilt or fear is used to make you comply

• The leader claims to hear God “for you” and overrides your discernment

Fear and Intimidation

• You feel afraid to speak up or ask questions

• You’re worried about being punished, exposed, or shamed if you disagree

• The leader uses threats of spiritual consequences (e.g., curses, divine punishment)

• Leaving the group or ministry is framed as dangerous or disobedient to God

Elitism and Exclusivity

• The group or leader believes they are the only ones with “true” doctrine or revelation

• Other churches or leaders are seen as worldly, deceived, or enemies of the truth

• Followers are encouraged to cut ties with outside voices or family members

Image and Control of Narrative

• The leader is highly concerned with appearances and reputation

• Public image is polished while private behavior is abusive

• Whistleblowers or questioners are smeared, discredited, or cast out

• Abuse is covered up to “protect the ministry”

Overstepping Boundaries

• The leader pries into private matters that should be left to you

• Personal, medical, relational, or financial choices are subject to their control

• You are discouraged from seeking outside help, therapy, or medical advice

Spiritualizing Harm

• Harmful behavior is justified as “God’s will” or “spiritual discipline”

• The leader uses Scripture to excuse mistreatment or silence you

• Repentance is demanded of victims instead of accountability from abusers

Gaslighting and Confusion

• You are made to question your own reality or memories

• You feel crazy or ashamed for sensing that something is wrong

• You’re told your pain is a result of your sin, pride, or lack of faith

Isolation and Dependency

• You are slowly isolated from family, friends, or former supports

• The leader becomes your main or only source of counsel and approval

• You feel unable to leave without fear of losing your faith or community

Performance and Perfectionism

• Worthiness is tied to works, obedience, or constant activity in the ministry

• Rest, boundaries, or personal needs are viewed as selfish or ungodly

• You’re told you must “die to self” in ways that erase your identity or voice

Emotional and Psychological Impacts

• Ongoing anxiety, shame, depression, or religious OCD (scrupulosity)

• Trouble trusting spiritual leaders or reading Scripture without distress

• Flashbacks, nightmares, or panic tied to church or faith-related experiences

• Deep confusion about God’s character and whether He can be trusted