Are there threats or dramatic ultimatums?  (Example: “If you can’t even show enough respect to give me an answer, I’m walking out that door!”

Do they blame you for nearly everything and point out how it is your fault?

Do they want your life to completely revolve around them and their needs, and if it doesn’t, they get angry or pout?

Has the relationship been wonderful at times but quickly can turn ugly?

Do they “one-up” you or give insults disguised as compliments?  (Example: “Congratulations!  You figured it out.  It’s about time, I learned that in kindergarten!”)

Are your pleas for attention or understanding frequently discounted, rejected or somehow it turns to be hurtful for them?  (Example:  A wife asks her husband,  “Can you fix the broken stairs?  I got hurt again.”   He replies, “There you go again making make me out to look like a lazy husband."  

Do they claim to know what you are thinking or what is best for you?

Do they frequently make you feel unimportant by constantly being late, changing plans, ignoring your repeated attempts to reach them, or by not keeping promises?

Does it seem like they only help or serve you if they can get brownie points from it in one way or another?  Do they serve other people in ways they no longer help you?

Do you find yourself feeling crazy or questioning your own reality or perceptions when you are around them?  Do they insist you think things that you don’t?

Do they tell you messages like you're just being too sensitive or dramatic and you just need to be more understanding with them, less dramatic, get past it, or give them a "re-start"?

Do they call you a narcissist or tell you that you are always making it all about you?

Do you constantly feel on edge around them?

Does it seem like the longer you have been in the relationship the less of your former self you are?