Christian Cult Recovery Counseling
Trauma-Informed, Virtual
Coaching and Christian Counseling
I specialize in providing support for those healing from abuse from Bill Gothard, his teachings, and related high control families and groups such as:
Patriarchy & Umbrella of Protection Theology
IBLP & ATI
Quiverfull Movement
Michael & Debi Pearl Style Parenting
Vision Forum
IFB - Independent Fundamental Baptist Churches & Universities
Biblical Counseling
(formerly Nouthetic Counseling - Jay Adams)
Do any of these resonate with you?
Does fear and guilt strike whenever you try to move forward?
Does it seem like you don’t fit anywhere?
Do you find your thought running in circles over and over?
Are your family and friendships fractured?
Have you found ways to ease the pain but see these things are causing other difficulties in your life?
Have friends and family still in the cult vilified you or left you isolated?
Did you raise children in this belief system and find yourself consumed by pain and self-blame because you now see negative impacts on their lives?
Did you experience extreme punishments or sexual abuse by people who you thought were spiritual leaders?
Are you dealing with overwhelming impacts to you physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually?
These are some of the common impacts of the emotional, psychological, and spiritual abuse found in cults and cult-like groups and families.
- confusion and constantly trying to figure things out
- all or nothing thinking (having to do something perfectly or not doing it at all)
- intense fear around personal choices and making decisions
- anxious, jumpy, sleep issues, addictions, panic
- depression, hopelessness, shame, migraines, stomach issues
- excessively trying to explain yourself
- fear of being alone or around people
- chronic guilt
- spiritual things bring anxiety, or you feel numb to them
- people-pleasing, constantly trying to “do better”
- intense unpredictable emotions that are difficult to calm
- forgetful, numb, nothing feels pleasurable
- feeling like you don’t know who you are or that you lost yourself
- feelings of dread
- difficulty thinking clearly or making plans
Are you looking for personalized support?
Maybe you have been endlessly Googling topics or watching videos, yet you’re still struggling to heal.
Maybe you feel alone, frozen, and unsure of what to do or where to turn.
Many of us come to a point in our healing where we need individualized support and personalized insights to continue moving forward.
We all need…
compassionate and reliable support, clarity in what seems utter chaos, our hope restored, encouragement, answers, validation, calming tools that actually work, and knowing what steps to take to heal.
One-on-one support is designed to give you the safe space you need to catch your breath, sort things out, and find much-needed peace in your life. There’s no pressure. You’ll receive lots of support, validation, helpful information, gentle encouragement, and a roadmap that will guide you to overcoming abuse.
You’ll start to feel better as you better understand what is happening and learn how to move forward. You’ll discover ways to manage the intense impacts of abuse, find connection and stability, and develop the skills and confidence you need to move forward.
If you’re ready to have a fellow survivor on your side to gently and compassionately guide you through the healing process, I’d love to talk.
Do You Need?
Answers
Are you constantly confused and questioning everything?
Get the validation and insights you need to unravel your individual situation and clearly understand the truth about what is happening.
Direction
Have you tried everything, but nothing seems to be helping?
Get the personalized guidance, effective strategies, and roadmap you need to confidently choose your next steps.
Healing
Are you realizing just how deeply you have been impacted?
Get the trauma-informed support and direction you need to overcome the impacts and move forward in your life.
My Approach
I believe we are all beautifully unique, including YOU, so a “one size fits all” approach often isn’t helpful and can even be hurtful. So, instead of using a cookie-cutter plan, I enjoy working together with you to create a path forward that considers your unique personality, challenges, and strengths.
I believe that you are the expert on you. My role is to listen and learn about you so that I can provide the guidance and support you need to get to where you want to go. The best growth and healing occurs in a space where you feel free to ask questions, disagree, and talk about what is helpful and what isn’t.
I believe every person is valuable. Unfortunately, trauma often causes us to confuse the impacts of trauma with our identity. When this happens, we are left feeling deeply ashamed, hopeless, crazy, and weak. I value you, and I want to create a safe space where you can feel and know your value too!
Where do I stand in my belief system?
My goal in life is to follow Jesus. I want my relationship with him to grow deeper and deeper. I have been on a long journey to identify and discard many “doctrines of man” that I have absorbed as God’s truth. My peace and joy increase each time He helps me untwist the lies from the truth.
I believe institutionalized Christianity has adopted an alarming amount of twisted and partial truths. For example, the teachings around judging someone are often twisted. The Bible gives us abundant resources to help us identify and respond to wicked and foolish people. Yet when abuse victims in the church come forward, they are often met with “don’t judge them” and “we need to give them grace.” Do we? Are we called to coddle wolves? How can we respond to a wolf, as the Bible says, if we shouldn’t identify them? If we are not to give our pearls to the pigs and dogs, how do we avoid doing that if we don’t identify who they are?
Man’s beliefs, my truth, and Satan’s lies don’t set us free. The TRUTH is what does. Twisted Biblical teachings are harmful and even can be spiritually abusive. Far too often, misrepresentations of God’s character and the twisting of His words are used to control people. I believe that His truth, His character, and a relationship with Him are what sets us free.
So if you want to work with someone who loves Jesus but hates manipulating His words for power and control, we might be a good fit! I respect that
Please schedule a session if you want to meet me and discern for yourself if working together is helpful for you.
Services
Important!
Willow Life Coaching and Counseling, LLC does NOT provide medical services. Please see a licensed medical provider if you need medical and mental health services.
Helpful Links
Here are some links with information specific to Bill Gothard and Patriarchy. My linking to these resources does not mean I agree with everything you will find there. Use your own judgement.
About Me
Bonnie Ronstrom
I’m a certified life coach, victim’s advocate, and pastoral counselor. I specialize in walking toward healing with those harmed by toxicity, narcissism, and spiritual abuse.
My passion is to provide the validation, support, training, and resources individuals and organizations need to overcome the devastating impacts of toxicity and abuse.
Whether you need a one-time consult or a place to heal, I look forward to meeting you and exploring how we can best work together. I work with clients from all over the world through virtual, trauma-informed coaching, Christian counseling (non-medical), groups, training, and consulting services.
Specialties
Select One to Learn More
Contact Me
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you take insurance?
My services are not medical, so they are not covered by medical insurance.
Who do you work with?
I work with English speaking adults from diverse cultures, countries, and backgrounds.
What forms of payment do you take?
How do I schedule an appointment?
If you didn’t see an answer to your question, the link below will take you to more frequently asked questions.
What does working together look like?
The various parts of us (body, mind, soul, spirit, emotions, personality, abilities, etc.) are so intricately woven together that all aspects of us are impacted when we experience hardships and trauma. For this reason, I believe the most profound growth and healing occur when all parts of us are part of the process.
When we first meet, I’ll ask about your goals and what you hope to gain from working together. Some people have a clear picture of what they want, while others are overwhelmed and focused on surviving today (an expected impact of abuse and trauma). If this is your situation, we can start with your immediate needs, such as helpful information, clarity, a safety plan, or strategies to calm the chaos and anxiety.
I let each person decide how often they want to meet (permitting time in my schedule) and if they prefer to meet via phone or video chat.
As we talk, I discover your personality, experiences, preferences, and abilities. Getting to know you is an essential part of helping me present options and strategies that will be effective for you. I don’t believe a one-size-fits-all approach works.
Part of being trauma-sensitive is that I’m always listening for potential triggers and roadblocks so that together we can develop creative ways to help you keep moving forward and avoid being retraumatized.
Trauma alters how our brain and nervous systems function. Even when we are no longer in a harmful environment, having “trauma brain” causes physical problems and makes everyday tasks and interactions difficult. An essential part of healing is helping your brain and nervous systems return to healthy functioning. Thankfully, our brains are capable of changing and developing new patterns. Even though trauma is devastating, healing is possible!
People are traumatized when they go through deeply distressing events. When these distressing events are ongoing (such as in the case of Narcissistic Abuse), the impacts are profound.
When there is stress, our brains temporarily change how they function to help us respond to the stressor and recover afterward. Prolonged trauma causes our brains to take on new patterns of functioning. Certain brain areas become overactive while others under-function. These changes are sometimes referred to as “trauma brain.”
Here are just a few of the signs of “trauma brain.”
Lack of focus
Memory issues, Forgetful
Fatigue, Unmotivated
Anxious, restless
Emotionally reactive
Difficulty feeling connected to anyone
Difficulty thinking through challenging topics
More impulsive
Drawn toward addictions (food, shopping, drugs, researching, etc.)
Sleep difficulties
Loss of hope or difficulty thinking about the future
Jumpy
Overthinking & obsessing
Headaches, stomach and intestinal issues, auto-immune disorders
Skeptical of everyone and everything